May 2013
friendlycloud:
hitlervevo:
why the fuck cant we text the police
lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
Relevant
shsl-chef:
a-felicia-named-goat:
shsl-chef:
when u Mom com home and make hte spagheti
what is this even supposed to mean
thats what i do when me Mom com home and make hte spagheti
GO ON ANON AND ASK ME THE MOST AWKWARD, PERVERTED,...
summer-m0rnings:
floral-ink:
do it.
please
my english teacher: your essay isn't very well put together
me: my thoughts are stars i cannot fathom into constellations
meladoodle:
sext: why aren’t you responding to me haha
scareeps:
those booty shorts really bring out your personality
ostracizedpoodle:
am i the only one who doesn’t have a tumblr
poopflow:
iphone-420:
poopflow:
people who add “get out” to a post with a pun should have their comment privileges revoked
get out
wOw I nEvER SAw tHIS COMInG U RLY GOT mE
slythermint:
when i was
a young boy
my father
took me into the city
to see a marching band
he said, “son when—”
allyson-wonderlnd:
silentlydrawn:
leepaced:
if you didnt ship the queen and joe as a child you need to rethink your life choices
#otp: you’ve been wearing black too long
it’s so true it hurts my heart
growlithed:
the venn diagram of guys i like and guys i cant have is a circle
dampsandwich:
the entire school was burning down and i had to pull the fire alarm. i sprinted over to it. there was writing on it in permanent ink. it said: if you pull this down you are gay. no way was i pulling the fire alarm anymore
tupacabra:
can someone invent weight that detaches from our bodies so that people who want to lose weight can just take it off and give it to people who want to gain weight and then we can pick the places that we want to put them onto/take them off. then no one would have weight issues and that would be one less thing to stress about in life
est-offensa-et-mirari:
authocracy:
planetfuckingjupiter:
new olympic sport: the contestants must sit on their legs until they fall asleep and then run down a flight of stairs
this is gonna get a ton of notes I can feel it
I would watch that
comparingmeerkats:
marblefacade:
its crazy that leonardo da vinci could paint and invent all that stuff and still find time to be a crime fighting turtle
and he still hasnt won any oscars
